Do
Think about how to divide your shared assets
First and foremost, money – one of the most difficult things to discuss, even before divorce starts to come into the equation. However difficult the conversation is, it is far better to discuss the family finances, and how they will be split, sooner rather than later. You may want to turn to mediation if you think the conversation isn’t going anywhere, or could turn hostile.
Next, the family home. It may be that one of you continues living in it, which can be the best option if you have children, or you may choose to sell up and split the money so that you can both move onto somewhere new.
Talk about the children
You will need to have a long, productive conversation about any children you share with your partner. Who will they stay with while you go through divorce? How will you share their time during the school holidays etc? What about after? Your children should be one of your top priorities.
How to pay the costs
Divorce costs money. From filing for the conditional order to your legal costs, you shouldn’t bury your head in the sand when it comes to discussing who should pay – and how much. Some divorcing couples choose to split the costs, while some situations put the onus on one party, rather than both.
Find good legal advice
While some people do attempt to take on the process of applying for a divorce by themselves, it is far better for you – and your ability to put the past firmly in the past – to work with a solicitor during this time. They can ensure your interests are protected – that the arrangement you agree to is fair and beneficial for you – and that every consideration is properly seen to now, rather than rearing its head in the future.
It’s best to work with a solicitor in your local area, so that the process isn’t disruptive as you work to find the ‘new normal’ in your life. If you’re in Gloucestershire, for instance, then divorce solicitors in Cheltenham will be ideal.
Check how long the process takes
Some divorces can take longer than others. It all depends on your shared assets – whether or not you can agree on how to split them – and whether you have children, share a business, etc. It’s important to get an idea of how long it should take before you start, so that you are equipped to cope with it.
Check if you can get help with court fees
Getting divorced can be expensive, but help is available to those who need it.
Don’t
Get pregnant
If you have made the decision to end your marriage, it’s not uncommon for a certain degree of mixed feelings. The worst thing that can happen, however, is a pregnancy. This will complicate the entire process, and mean that, even after the divorce, you will have to keep in close contact.
Forget to change your will
A divorce nullifies any will that was written before or during the marriage. You will want to speak with your solicitor about drafting a new will – one that reflects your life post-divorce.
Take it out on your children
Parenting through a divorce can be incredibly difficult, but it is important that you keep the experience as far from your children as possible.
Forget about your finances
Besides any shared current/savings accounts, you will also want to think about any tax or insurance that needs to be seen to. You’ll need to have an open conversation about this with your ex, or risk a bigger headache further down the line.
Increase your debt
Debt can make a divorce very complicated, particularly if you’re struggling to adjust to reduced earnings each month. Stay away from the credit cards, and avoid financing any new purchases for now. Adjust to the new situation first.
