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The loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences we will go through in our lives. It’s something that happens to all of us in our lifetime, but even though the experience is shared by so many, it doesn’t make it any less devastating.
You don’t always get the chance to say a proper goodbye when someone passes away, sometimes it can be unexpected, even if the person was ill or elderly.
However, there are other ways to say goodbye. Funerals themselves are a means of saying goodbye and paying tribute to a lost loved one’s life whilst amongst family and friends.
Before the funeral, you can also visit the chapel of rest, which is another way to say goodbye in a smaller, more personal environment.
In this article, we’ll be sharing the information you need to know about visiting the chapel of rest, so you can understand what to expect and decide if it’s something you want to do.
What is a Chapel of Rest?
A chapel of rest is an area, usually a room or occasionally its own separate building. It is normally part of a funeral home, so to arrange to visit, you’ll need to contact the funeral director.
In this room, you can visit the body of the person who has died, stand or sit with them for a while and say your goodbyes – or anything else you want to say, you can also say nothing at all, it’s entirely up to you.
What Will it Be Like?
The appearance of the chapel of rest will vary between different funeral directors, but there will be some shared features.
The coffin will be resting on a catafalque, this is a platform, stand or table used to raise coffins up. If there are windows in the room, they will be closed to give you privacy.
Generally, in a chapel of rest, the coffin will be open.
What to Expect with an Open Coffin
Viewing a loved one after they’ve died is something that many people worry about, you may ask yourself whether you should or not.
It is important to remember that you don’t have to visit the chapel of rest at all, if you don’t want to, and there’s nothing wrong with that, you can remember a person as they were and in your own way. You also don’t need to look in the coffin or have it open.
However, if you do visit, you may wonder what to expect the person to look like. The way they’ll look depends on how long it has been since they have died. The deceased’s body will have been kept in certain conditions to preserve them. There is also the option to have them embalmed, which will preserve them longer, but this does not have to be done.
Either way, the funeral director will make sure your loved one is dressed, clean and groomed before you visit.
If you’re having trouble deciding whether to view the deceased, you could ask the funeral director what to expect beforehand, or have someone else go in to judge whether you’d find it too upsetting.
Who Can Visit the Chapel of Rest?
Generally, it’ll be the next of kin and other close family members that will visit the chapel of rest. It is not usually something that more extended family or friends will do, but it could be requested by someone who wasn’t immediate family but was close. It will be up to the next of kin to decide.
Some chapels will have limits of only a certain small number of people being able to visit at one time, sometimes this will only be two people at once, sometimes the room can accommodate up to six. It will vary by funeral home. However, some people choose to or want to go in on their own to say goodbyes in private.
Etiquette and Other Information
Even though they may sound Christian, a chapel of rest isn’t limited to a specific religion. Most will be multi-faith.
A chapel of rest is also not as formal as a funeral, so you won’t need to wear a black suit. You will only need to wear a specific outfit if it’s for reasons such as religion or a specific request.
Speak to a Funeral Director for More Advice
Remember, it is completely up to you whether you visit your loved one in the chapel of rest or not. You can also always seek help and advice from the funeral director if unsure about anything, they can offer support and an empathetic ear.
From helping with making decisions for the funeral, to referring you to bereavement support, it’s their job, so speaking to the funeral director could really make a difference.
